The Five Stages of Children's Television Acceptance

There's a phenomenon I've observed since I became a SAHM. We don't stay away from kids' shows in my house. Oh no. We embrace them as the 20-minute sanity breaks that they are.

But...they're not exactly great television. Or even really entertaining horrible television. Except for Sesame Street. Cookie Monster just understands me, you know?

I've noticed that there are stages a person goes through when introduced to a new show.

Stage 0: Loathing

This one only applies in some cases. This is reserved for the Caillou's, and the Daniel Tiger's. You hear the theme song (or the teachable moment ditty) and you cringe. You physically cringe. You swore that you'd never let your kid watch this show, but they caught a glimpse of it in the STUPID PBS Kids/Disney Junior app.

Stage 1: Annoyance

When your kid asks to watch The Show, you grimace a little. But The Show and your kid, their relationship is new and shiny and full of wonder, and when it's on, their tiny adorable face lights up like it's really irritating Christmas. You agree, and you tune out while it's tuned in and do other things. Productive things, like cleaning and definitely NOT surfing Facebook or texting your BFF.

Stage 2: Neutrality

The music stops bugging you, and in fact you begin to learn the words to the theme song, thinking, "oh, what a clever play on words!" You can explain the plot of the episode based on the title or episode number because your son always wants to watch "the one with Super George." Every once in a while you glance up from...the cleaning...and watch. You mock it to your friends, which you could really only do if you paid enough attention to know the characters.

Stage 3: Insidious Lyrical Poisoning

The songs are stuck in your head. A LOT. You have two choices: 1) go slowly but thoroughly insane, or b) learn the words and nod your head along as they rattle around in there on a constant loop. When the song that's stuck in your head comes on the show, you're kind of relieved because you can learn the rest of the words without admitting to Googling them.

Stage 4: Appreciation

You get excited when there's a new episode. You tell yourself it's relief because you're sick of the episodes you've already seen, but we all know this is only partially true. You chuckle at the kid-friendly puns, and occasionally suggest it as a show choice.

Stage 5: Assimilation

You admit it. You like the show. You feel genuine affection for the characters, even Katerina (meow meow). You begin to notice nuances, like the fact that Daniel Tiger is the only kids' show you've seen with a single parent family (rock on, Daniel Tiger!), or that we only see one set of grandparents at Caillou's house. You look forward to watching it and wonder if you've completely lost your marbles. This is almost always when you child(ren) stop wanting to watch it and you're all, "Aww. But...but...Sofia!"